As expected, conservative outrage about the Afghanistan pullout was winding down and it was getting close to time to find another rage pill for the androids. Stirring up fear concerning Afghan refugees wasn’t really getting the job done. It’s hard to get a hate-boner over plan ol’ Islamaphobia when you’ve spent the last five years convinced everyone that comes from down Mexico way is a lieutenant in MS-13.
Luckily for them, President Joe Biden is just a sweetheart and gave them something to go completely insane over. Yowling like stuck pigs, conservatives are twisted because Biden is forcing every man, woman, and child to get a COVID vaccine whether they want to or not on threat of being shipped off to an internment camp, loss of job, and refusal to let them watch The Masked Singer.
Wait. That’s not right. What he actually is doing is requiring proof of vaccination from most federal employees and calling on OSHA – the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, or the reason you get breaks in an eight-hour day – to demand the same for large businesses with the option of regular weekly tests. There are also some calls for increased finds for the unmasked and stronger enforcement of all that. Nothing is written in stone but the administration hopes to have everything rolling within 75 days.
Biden gave a speech yesterday to explain his reasoning. Basically, he’s of the opinion that it’s past time to cut the shit. Noting that since their release, over 200 million of Our Fellow Americans have had at least one shot and no one’s developed cancer or turned into a Cronenberg-esque monster. So far, anyway. What has happened, though, is a much strong strain of COVID has invaded the populace and is striking even younger people than originally, including small children and infants.
Even the super-geniuses who were holding out for FDA approval don’t have a leg to stand on and apart from your garden variety anti-vaccination goofball, most resistance to getting the shot is driven by little more than good ol’ American petulance and selfishness dressed up as politics and a complete dedication to political intransigence. We’ve been patient with your knuckleheads, Biden told the press, and it’s time to cut the shit.
Friends and neighbors, Conservative America went goddamn insane. Sen. Joni Ernst claimed Biden only did it to distract from 9/11 – for some reason – and fascist dipstick Madison Crawford pledged to enter a bill to, and we quote, “gut OSHA.” Fox News has been gleefully flinging shit about the Constitution and what they think it says, and a number of Republican governors are vowing to sue the U.S. government in the name of freedom, liberty, and a possible Vice-President spot on the 2024 GOP ticket. As we all know, red states – particularly in the South – are just wonderlands of prosperity, quiet, and not at all concerned about another deep freeze or hurricane.
For his part, Biden’s basically waving his dick at them and saying “Bring it, punks.” Though his approval numbers have taken a hit recently thanks to the Afghanistan pullout not being perfect and the surge in COVID cases fueled mostly by infections to unvaccinated dingbats. He doesn’t seem to give much of a shit, which really pisses the Washington Press off. Boy, they do not like being ignored.
Of course, the constitutionality of such a mandate is a perfectly reasonable question. Government overreach is a thing and rarely if ever, works out well for anyone. So far, discussion on the topic hinges on a 1905 case, Jacobson vs. Massachusetts, which basically argues that individual liberty doesn’t overturn public safety. Now, where the discussion goes in the parlors and debate halls of America generally depends on where you fall on the whole “the Second Amendment is so we can overthrow the government if we want” debate.
The general consensus I’m seeing is that, yes, it is constitutional, so sit down and roll your sleeve up. Furthermore, the Supreme Court seems to be inclined to let it ride, with the possible exception of Neil Gorsuch for reasons I’m sure makes sense to him. And it should be noted that this is all still in the planning stage, and Biden can only make federal employees get the shot. OSHA can make it a thing but that’s the same as OSHA saying you can’t get shit-housed while on the job.
So, relax. If you haven’t got the shot, do so unless your primary caregiver has objections. It’s free and goddamn everywhere. If you don’t have transportation, you can’t probably use the internet to find some. No one wants to chip you, you’re not important enough to control, and “population control” doesn’t make any sense in a capitalist economy. Settle down, I know you don’t understand, but it’s the smart thing to do.
Have a nice weekend.
Dear Y'all 