Wednesday, September 1, 2021

It’s the first day of September. August has come and gone, and we’re all looking forward to shorter days, cooler weather, and football. I usually keep up with this better but I haven’t had to fill space or try to come up with a decent intro lately.

Tropical Storm Ida is making its way through the Northeast tonight, bringing plenty of rain and a good bit of flooding. It’s also bringing tornados, including a couple of goddamn giant ones in New Jersey. Manhattan, the swingin’ heart of New York City, is currently under a tornado watch. Like, as in right now as we speak. Y’all hunker down and stay away from windows, is all the advice I got.

We’re still picking our way through the rubble here in dear ol’ Dixie, particularly the folks in New Orleans. They’re still out of power and most likely won’t see anything until next week. Again, though the damages look to be pretty extensive – up in the multi-billions – we have thankfully had few deaths. So far. Anyhow, go here if you want to do something.

Moving on, the evacuation deadline for Afghanistan has come and gone and, for the most part, it was a success. We’ve even got a picture of the last soldier out of the country, one Major General Chris “Flatliner” Donahue. The grand total is 122,000 individuals were lifted out of the country, including 6,000 non-military Americans. The military also rendered billions of dollars of equipment unusable, and while the Taliban was able to score some of our toys, that $80 billion price tag you’ve been seeing is horsefeathers.

The conservative brain trust has already moved on to shrieking about all those naughty Afghans that will soon be penetrating our virginal lands with their huge, throbbing, uncircumcised foreignness. They’ll either be pumped into white suburbs to swing votes towards the Democratic Party – because the GOP can’t figure out how to get anyone else’s votes – or they’ll just be staring luridly at our women.

Okay. Texas. Whoo boy, Texas. In the GOP’s ongoing attempts to turn the Lone Star State into the latest example of how bad extreme right-wing policies fail, 666 new laws went into gear last night. And I’m sorry, I find it hard to believe that number wasn’t on purpose, particularly for a bunch that’s heavy into the whole “Christians are being persecuted by demons who want black people to vote” thing. Anyhow, some highlights include:

• Permitless carry. This means you can walk around strapped without having to prove shit to anyone. They’re also putting together an active shooter alert system because, of course, they are. Got to get ahead of the curve
• Forced patriotism. Look, that’s all it can be. Schools will be required to play the national anthem before games, the banning of The 1619 Project in classes, and starting something cleverly titled “the 1836 Project,” which is about how Texas has always been just the greatest.
• Punishing local governments for cutting police department budgets. No, really, if San Antonio decides there’s too much money going to the fuzz that could be doing some good elsewhere, the state governments can withhold funds. Also, they’re instituting felony charges for protesters blocking emergency vehicles, which never happens, and making homeless camps illegal.

There are some good ones, though. Medical marijuana access was expanded and cops must keep their body cams on at all times. However, what’s really hanging people up is the incredibly draconic anti-choice laws put into play by last night’s deviltry. The worst is a ban on all abortions after the first six weeks, which is earlier than most folks notice things, effectively outlawing abortions. And while there are exemptions for qualifying medical emergencies, there are none for rape or incest because, hey, Texas.

Also, the state’s instituting a bounty system for citizens to sue people involved in someone getting an abortion that would be illegal in Texas, regardless of what the laws in other states say. In essence, where I to drive my friend Jessica from Austin to California, say, to get an abortion, you, the average Texas shit-kicker, could rat on me to the officials, possibly netting yourself a cool ten grand. I’m sure that won’t be abused, not in Texas.

The fear from pro-choice advocates and other clear-headed people who like women is this new law will be used to overturn Roe vs. Wade. There was some hope an emergency plea placed with the U.S. Supreme Court would give a little time. However, to the surprise of no one, the hard-right Supreme Court declined to hear the plea, effectively allowing it to go into effect. More legal action is planned but right now, pro-choice advocates are not sanguine. But hey, at least the emails lady didn’t get into office five years ago.

It should be noted that Texas regularly ranks at the bottom when it comes to children’s health and access to health care. They’re 45th in nutrition and obesity, 42nd in oral health care, and dead last when it comes to overall health and access to quality health care. Now, I’m not casting stones. I am from Mississippi, after all, and we got a governor that brags about being a safe-house for the unborn while we have the highest infant mortality rate in the country.

I’m just saying that maybe access to abortion isn’t the biggest danger Texan offspring might have to face. You’d think that would be worked on first, but there you go.