Thursday, September 26, 2019

The last couple of days have been hectic, & honestly, friends & neighbors? I’m tired. So we’re just going to Fill Up Space here to keep the chops up & call it a night. I am wired & inspired, so let’s go.

Main thing is I had the Crash. See, when my sleeping habits are disrupted, my internal clock snaps a spring. Between reading & Really Listening to music, with the odd esoteric & diverting  documentary or video on YouTube, I wound up staying awake all night, just a pleasant, enjoyable evening in the quiet. Sometime around noon, whatever kept me running went the way of all flesh & I just now woke up.

It happens. Used to happen a lot more often when I was working 38-42 a week & the time spent to not be working was precious. It was much more fierce, though, since I would general have to stave it off for a fortnight or so, & then just shut down for 24 hours.

But that isn’t such a problem these days. I’m just along for the ride right now. Encouraging enough, this is take up most of my mental energy. That is a pleasant outcome, essentially exactly what I was going for lo, those four months ago.

So I guess I need to step it up. I need to talk to an actual pro writer, someone who makes a living at this & doesn’t have my advantages. Felicia Day just put out another book. I’m lukewarm about her output but you got to admire her hustle. That’s what I need. I know how to make money writing as a purely physical activity, if that was all I cared out, but I want to have fun, & for that, I need to talk to someone who’s having fun.

About what? I don’t know. Where to go next? What to do next? I’m still not at all happy abut this… dilettante balderdash is apparently all I can add to the conversation. How do I make it be something else? What if that’s all I can do, what should I do?

But I do need to talk to someone. I wonder if there’s a class or something about writing I could take. Maybe something at ICC or Ole Miss in Tupelo, even if it’s not actually connected to a school. I really don’t want to do that, have to be around people at a set, regular time, have mercy. But I do need to talk to someone.

I also need to do something about this computer. It’s starting to drag & hang up to readily. It’s at least three years old & it wouldn’t to maybe have someone who knows what they’re talking about to take a look at it. Again, I need to talk to someone. Dammit. I don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s all  can do to stand my own company.

I’ve hit a block. I don’t lack much to go. I don’t really want to look at the news, because the fallout’s still happening & we’re still coming to grips with What It’s All About. I don’t want to deal with The only really new wrinkle is apparently The New York Times rated out the whistleblower & did it in such a way that only intensifies the leftist disdain for that paper. Dammit! There I go.

I will say I think the Great Unwashed’s perspective on the media is amusingly warped. Your average conservative – hell, your average liberal – thinks that place is staffed with red-eyed revolutionary & decadent Marxism wastrels in of what it really is full of is the continuation of the socio-economic afterbirth of Babbitus Americanus. Which pisses off the Left or anyone who actually thinks someone who gets paid six figures a year to write two opinion columns a week would be that banal & petty.

The New York Times could do better, is all I’m saying. It’s not like it’s limping along on a wing & a prayer, a lone voice struggling to be heard in the wilderness. They are the Bull Goose Newspaper & there’s money behind it. They could do better.

I just finished an ebook called Space Rouges by John Wilker. It was an enjoyable if rather rote “soft scifi” space opera. Aliens, different but familiar & bipedal. Telling the laws of physics to get stuffed but not telling how. Rakish rouges swashbuckling sarcastically all over the place. It was fun & quick, & it means I’m going to have put some more thought into my own rather rote “soft scifi” space opera with etc.

I’m just going to piddle here until supper’s called, then tie it off there. I have come to enjoy this overall creative thing & the crafting thing. I just need a story. There’s really no need for another middle-class white dude’s opinion. Not enough to charge for it, anyway.

Epic Games gave us Everything this week, & I might give that a whirl tonight. They also gave us Metro 2033, but I’ve already got that. It’s a good game, though first-person perspectives always gives met he willies.

You know what? That’s good. I’ll come back if a thought strikes me.

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